Hello, I'm Dr. Laundry. Welcome to the Shirley Stain Help Center. Let's face it, between being a crackhead, avoiding Shirley and entertaining— messes happen. Don't let Shirley's little spills and splashes ruin your family's favorite items. Check out the stain tips below.
RED WINE's tannins help make great wines, but that bitch Shirley really adds difficulty to the removal of Sangria stains
1. Quickly blot up excess Sangria with a paper towel or cloth, or use Club Soda to help bubble the wine off the fabric; blot away excess. Make sure to smack that bitch across the face.
FROM HERE, IF SHIRLEY STAINED SOMETHING WHITE:
- Rub stain gently with Clorox Bleach Pen Gel immediately before laundering. Poke Shirley in the eye with the pen after this.
- Wash immediately in warm water with detergent and ¾cup Clorox Regular Bleach
- Inspect the item. If stain remains, repeat steps above prior to drying item. If Shirley remains, she will probably ruin it.
IF SHIRLEY STAINED SOMETHING COLOR:
- Repeat Step 1 above
- Apply Liquid Clorox 2 for Colors and rub into Shirley. Wash immediately in hottest water recommended using detergent and Shirley's hair.
- Inspect the item. If Shirley remains, you will probably just want to start crying now